Brains, guts, and bloody bedlam await the seeker, with the fear starting at the front door.
Recently I was invited to check out this year’s version of The Darkness Haunted House, complete with Zombie Laser Tag. The Darkness, a Halloween season staple in Historic Soulard, is known as one of the best haunted attractions in the St. Louis area, and has been for many years. Not being a big fan of haunted houses, I stepped out of the car with some trepidation. Will it be scary? Will I have an anxiety attack midway through and have to call EMS? Would I simply laugh myself silly at these people trying to consciously scare the hell out of me? I was about to find out.
Ten other people and I entered The Darkness with bewildered looks on our faces. And, while we were informed the live actors would not be a part of the show, we were assured the house was more than equipped with terrors galore.
While I will not give away the secrets behind the house or what thrills it holds, I will say that whoever designs this particular tour is a genius. Never have I seen such macabre settings so deliciously overdone. Brains, guts, and bloody bedlam await the seeker, with the fear starting at the front door.
After our blood-curdling jaunt through the house, it was time for the main feature: Zombie Laser Tag. Never having played the game myself, I was especially excited to kill some brain-seeking zombies. After being readied and armed, we entered the madness that is Zombie Laser Tag. With realistic, flesh-eating zombies around almost every turn, one has to have a good eye in order to survive; some might actually find the act of zapping zombies to death somewhat cathartic. There’s nothing more terrifying than being chased by zombies in the dark. Just be a good shot, and you’ll live to see another, zombie-free day. | Marc Farr