Britney Spears | Britney Jean (RCA)

britney-spears-britney-jean-promoI have been battling insomnia for a week now and this song put me right to sleep. For real.


“Alien” | I’m sorry, did the album start? I wasn’t sure, as this track put me to sleep. What the hell was the point of this song? Score: 0

“Work Work” | This is what I am talking about. I love the attitude of Britney’s vocals as she serves a little bit of RuPaul on this one. This track is totally DQW (Drag Queen Worthy). Score: 9

“Perfume” | Ew. The first ballad of the album, and it sucks. The lyrics are bitchy and petty. The vocals are OK, but I expect more from Britney. What a waste of a track. Score: 0

“It Should Be Easy” | A decent enough dance track. Will.I.Am makes an appearance and, strangely enough, I like the juxtaposition of their voices. This got my ass moving, which is always nice. Score: 7

“Tik Tik Boom” | I got into this one, another fun dance song. I was thinking how many drag queens would be working this onstage until I heard T.I. show up. His rapping is pretty decent, but it wrecks it for any drag queen to do this number. Well, unless they have a drag king perform with them. That could be kind of hot. Score: 8

“Body Ache” | Lyrically, there is not much to this track. The music seems like video game music. But it works on a certain level. This is filler dance music, but it is good filler dance music. Score: 7

“Til It’s Gone” | Another filler dance track. As the last one, this one falls on the better side of filler. I just don’t think I will ever go back to this one again. Score: 6

“Passenger” | All right, Britney, you impressed me with this one. I liked the lyrics and the beats, but that damn video game music has got to go. Score: 8

“Chillin’ With You” | What a crappy song. Jamie Lynn’s vocals were far better than Britney’s, but the whole song is nothing to write home about. Next. Score: 2

“Don’t Cry” | The melody of this song is somewhat interesting, but the subject matter is not. Um, Brit, aren’t you like 32? Is this the type of material you should be singing about? It came off as juvenile. Next. Score: 3

“Brightest Morning Star” | This song didn’t make me want to throw up, but then again, it didn’t compel me to listen to it again. It’s just so boring. C’mon, Brit, get some better songs; I know you have the goods. Stop giving us filler and give us something killer. Score: 3

“Hold on Tight” | I am so glad I listened to this song. I have been battling insomnia for a week now and this song put me right to sleep. For real. I fell asleep standing up. This song is so boring, so lethargic, that it put me to sleep. Thanks for the nap, but no thanks for this song. Score: 0

“Now That I Found You” | What a hot mess. This song is all over the place and never really made me care much about it. Was that a banjo I heard? Score: 0

Average Track Score: 4.1 Would I recommended this to my friends? Not if I want them to keep being my friends. How does Britney Spears get to put this kind of crap out on an 8th (!) album when there are so many talented bands and singers who never get to put out one? Tragedy! | Jim Ryan


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