Lovefool 06.30.14 | Ensign Sue Must Kawaii

 Nothing like a little wish fulfillment to pull you out of the doldrums, as Lovefool discovers when she digs into the story of the Mary Sue-iest Mary Sue of them all in Ensign Sue Must Die.



Nerdlings. Hello. So the last few weeks have been pretty awful. I took a week off to deal with an immediate and miserable personal issue and then I took a week off because I couldn’t write anything that wasn’t completely depressing and awful. I’m back this week but will not be around next week because I’ll be away. And not only will I be away, but I’ll be somewhere with potentially sketchy internet service. In my defense, it was a really terrible immediate issue. Really, really terrible. So I mostly just sat around and read and watched Parks & Rec and talked to my cats and only checked my phone every few hours. That part was pretty cool.
Every now and again, though, something would happen and I’d laugh. I’d laugh kind of a lot, really, and I’d feel better for a few minutes and it was great. One of those things that caught me with some laughs was my friend Taryn posting the bishiest image of Captains Kirk and Picard gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes. Sparklies and everything. I immediately googled the watermark, “Ensign Sue Must Die,” and then I promptly tabled it for when I had more time and my full-on laptop.
That day is today and it’s a lovely day. I mean, it’s still kind of weird, but I socialized with some people today and I’m watching some Parks & Rec while reading the second series of Clare Moseley and Kevin Bolk’s Ensign Sue Must Die and it is pretty much glorious. Kirk, Scotty and the Doctor just captured Wesley Crusher in a pokeball. It’s a sly, manga-inspired romp through a solid dozen fandoms and their associated tropes with occasional bursts of full on kawaii goodness and I pretty much want to marry Clare Moseley and Kevin Bolk, the talent behind this masterprice. They could probably write me a world where Mr. J and I could marry them and I could have a Pikachu, which I am totally down with, and I could have fantastic pink hair, which I’m totally obsessed with right now.**
Ensign Sue Must Die updates weekly and is currently in the middle of a third series because, as we’re reminded, everything is a trilogy now. It takes the trope of the Mary Sue, that beautiful, talented character with the inevitably amethyst eyes, and makes it hilarious and not annoying. She moons after Kirk, she baffles Spock, she dates…well, she goes to Hogwarts. And spoilers there but it’s pretty hilarious. Mary Sue is a fandom staple that has crossed over into the mainstream a few times—lookin’ at you, Bella Swan—but it is so, so funny here and so self-aware. And there’s a journey, a character development arc lurking in the hilarity, that warms my heart and reminds me that sometimes we can fail and there’s still grace in that.
Also, Chekov spends a lot of the second arc (I think, I read them all in one go) making out with a pretty girl and that cracks me up. Chekov is adorbs and I love him and spends a fair bit of the strips with heart-shaped eyes and sometimes we just need some cute. | Erin Jameson
**Huh. You know that moment when your brain suddenly resumes semi-normal service after something happens? When you kind of click back into place and you’re like “Oh. There we go. Here I am.” I think I just had one. Cool. Thanks, Mary Sue, you saved the day!


Read Ensign Sue Must Die at

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