Lovefool 06.06.11 | Super Hook-Ups

With Superman and Wonder Woman pairing up in the New DCU, Lovefool ponders other possible superhero comic love connections.


You would think that Jesus Christ himself came down from the heavens and announced that he would be personally helming DC’s company-wide reboot, I’ve been hearing so much about it. And, admittedly, it is kind of a big deal. I get it. I do. So I’ve tried to keep on top of what’s going on with it, as any and every nerd journalist has been, and imagine my surprise when I saw a tiny blurb about Superman and Wonder Woman hooking up, somehow.

Now I’m a Doctor Who fangirl so I understand, especially lately, that everything isn’t as it seems. This may be just a publicity grab, but it’s also being treated as a very real possibility—an honest-to-goodness new canon possibility, not just some completely random weird one-off thing that immediately gets disregarded because it’s too sketchy and no one ever wants to think about it again. No, nerdlings, Bleeding Cool assures us that this will be media friendly. No mid-air sex. No confusing memory-wiping deals with baddies. Just new history, one where Lois and Clark are just friends or maybe they’re not just friends but aren’t committing to anything. Hey, Lois and Clark are footloose and fancy-free. You can’t tie them down, okay?

So it got me thinking. What other pairings would I like to see? Not which ones do I like now, but which ones would I totally write fanfiction about, if I were that sort. (Let the record state that I can barely get this column to my editor on Sunday nights, much less be writing the epic fanfiction the kids seem to get into these days.) (Hey, Lovefool requires a lot of research sometimes, okay?) Who, in my wildest dreams, do I want to see hooking up? Hang on tight, nerdlings, this might get a little weird.

1. Peter Parker (Spider-Man) and Emp (Empowered)

Let’s face it. Emp’s kind of a dork. It’s true. She’s an adorable dork, but she’s kind of a dork. She’s the everygirl superhero, always wondering if she looks fat in her spandex and dorking her way through super feats. She had a degree in superhero stuff that she got after witnessing the death of her father at an early age and she always seems to find herself tied up a lot, almost enough that one would wonder. Enter Peter Parker! Peter is also kind of a dork who is motivated by the death of a loved one and he can shoot webs strong enough to hold people down. I’m just sayin’. Of course, they both have some issues so that might be a problem—Emp needs some support sometimes and I’m just not sure Peter could be there for her. But it’d be interesting to watch them try.

2. Rose Red (Fables) and Spider Jerusalem (Transmetropolitan)

Okay, hear me out. Before Rose Red was reformed and took over the farm, she was a bad, bad girl. Rose is a girl who knows about redemption. And Spider Jerusalem saves America, despite himself, by doing the right thing. Admittedly, he does them with a lot of drugs and swearing but cleans himself up and moves to…wait for it…a FARM. He and Rose could hang out at the farm ignoring the orders from Fabletown and watching the political currents flowing around them.

3. Batman (Batman) and Jakita Wagner (Planetary)

I know this one kind of happened in Planetary: Crossing Worlds, but I want to see it play out for real. Both of them are snarky badasses who are used to getting ish done. Admittedly, Jakita is a team player but she’s gotten a little sparky with the team before. Jakita’s personality is such a play in contrasts. She’s a complete badass. She’s bubbly about it, though, snarking her way through keeping the world strange with a spirit that makes her the perfect foil for the Dark Knight. Plus, they’d look really good together up
on a rooftop somewhere.

4. Mary Jane Watson (Spider-Man) and Tony Stark (Iron Man)

Think about it. Everything from MJ’s famous "jackpot line" to her reluctance to tie herself down to Peter Parker points to one thing: she knows she’s got it goin’ on. She’s not going to settle for anything and convention be damned. Being a model, she’s a little used to the finer things in life and she’s totally hot. So who better to squire her about than millionaire playboy Tony Stark? I almost didn’t want to write about this one because it’s just so freaking obvious. Moneyed Tony Stark and sexy Mary Jane Watson, supercouple. They’d be like Brad and Jen were back in their golden days. I’d buy that copy of US Weekly.

So there. Four super-couples I’d like to see in four colors. I’m not about to start writing these fanfictions anytime soon but, you know, let me know if you see any out there. For review purpose. Naturally. | Erin Jameson

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