Telluride Horror Show | Day 1

telluride5 sqA couple’s plans to split from the CIA and go rogue is undermined in part by the world’s deadliest spider’s plans to mate with a human.


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The Telluride Horror Show opened in the best way possible: sinking into a classic theme of horror the butcher, with a pig roast. The pig, head and all, was splayed on giant platter, surrounded by happy participants gorging on the fully cooked pork. There was also a bar, the typical accompaniments to a pig roast (e.g. coleslaw), and large bonbons called “Wolfman’s Nard’s” by bb’s, with a center that tasted like a delicious blend of cake batter and marzipan.

The opening act was then followed by a series of explicit – mostly grindhouse or exploitation horror – shorts that humorously exhibit the dark side of basic human passions.

  • The shorts began with a jocular film, “Mineral,” in which a kidney stone seeks to return to the comfort of its former womb, killing a cat and parent along the way.
  • In “Box Room,” a school boy exposes part of a giant creature living in the walls of the boy’s room, impregnates it, and leaves it to his mom to deal with the consequences.2014 Poster_THS
  • “Dead Fuck” is literally and solely that: a mildly deformed bald punkish woman has sex with the skeletal corpse of a man that died in 1929.
  • A couple’s plans to split from the CIA and go rogue is undermined in part by the plans of the world’s deadliest spider’s plans to mate with a human in “Silk.”
  • A man concocts a supper made from “his” and “hers” (with a spin on caviar and sauce that will kill most appetites) for a hostage in “Bon Appetit.”
  • The shorts ended with Bobbitt-style revenge in “She.”

Participants then had choices between The Mirror and Suburban Gothic, followed by Creep and ABCs of Death 2.

Whereas the audience of the The Mirror seemed mostly unhappy with their choice, Suburban Gothic was an entertaining, witty film that was no scarier than Idle Hands or The Frighteners, but delivered funny – punctuated with a cameo by John Waters – all the way to the end.

The Show’s hosts and other informed audience members made it sound like you couldn’t go wrong by choosing either Creep or ABCs of Death 2. I was certainly satisfied with Creep, which offered an interesting psychological spin on found footage horror films. More on that later….

Overall, it has been a great start to the fifth Telluride Horror Show. Telluride is an enchanting scene for a horror film festival, quaint as Haddonfield, Illinois, on Halloween, circa 1978. Audiences have lined the block, packed theaters, and filled local bars and restaurants. The hosts have been entertaining and informative. And the movies, not to die for, but certainly worth the trip! | Ashby Walters

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