The party hats were dutifully worn for thirty seconds, the snacks have all been eaten, jokes about the Mayans have been made—welcome to 2012. Did you make resolutions? I didn't. I never do because there is no way I'm going to be able to keep them and I just don't want to set myself up for failure. Not that I feel bad about breaking them (and typically breaking them big), but it seems like there's no point in lying to myself. However, I'm sure that Jason Green, Fearless Editor would like for me to make some and, because I am a horrible trial to him, I've decided that I'll go ahead and humor him. Admittedly, one could point out that I'm just lying to him now but let's not call it that, nerdlings. Let's call it a fresh start.

 

So, in 2012, I resolve:

 

1. No more writing about whatever I want to and finding flimsy excuses to do so. Remember The Nightmare Before Christmas column I wrote? Sure, it was lovely but it wasn't about comics. At least not until I pointed out that there was a manga adaptation and made some crap up about the "look of the film." JG,FE pointed out that I write about movies all the time, but I write about things like Thor and Captain America and the X-Men trilogy that I don't have to justify.

 

2. Speaking of Thor, I resolve to be more critical. Admittedly, Thor was a fun movie but was it really that great? Really really? Or did I just think Chris Hemsworth was completely smokin' hot?

 

The answer is "yes," if you were wondering, I did in fact think Chris Hemsworth was kind of attractive. God, I even stuck up for Natalie Portman's performance. And, to be fair, Ms. Portman is allowed to slum it every once in a while and I totally wanted to believe that she was an astrophysicist but, really? And, sure, it was a fun movie and I enjoyed it a great deal but...still.

 

3. I resolve to learn more about superheroes. I mean, I have a pretty decent grasp of the biggies but I really am kind of crap at knowing about all the jillions of superheroes that exist out there in the wide, wide world. They all have stories and they are have loves that I can mine for content. And I'm sure everyone really does want to hear about their weird, obscure favorites instead of listening to me rant about the X-Men some more.

 

4. On the other hand, I need to find more topics that I genuinely care about for column fodder. All of the really excellent columns that I've written are about things that I genuinely care about. Sailor Moon, “Evangeline,” the yaoi revelation—these were all good columns because they were all things that I'm committed to and genuinely interested in, not things that I felt like I should write about but were kinda meh about. The things that I've written where I'm just desperate for content—these are not good columns. Admittedly, sometimes something will be so topical that I have to discuss it, but I need to learn some balance between pet projects and relevant projects.

 

4a. I feel like I need to stop censoring myself quite so much and let loose with those more controversial opinions that I sometimes keep too quiet. Hey, you're here to see what I have to say, right? (I had a bit more to say about that Catwoman keruffle than I let on...)

 

5. I resolve to actually treat this like a serious endeavor. As I type this, I'm actually sitting in my cube at work on a mandatory workday. And, sure, they're closing early and I am taking advantage of our ultra-slow day to go ahead and do something productive it's Monday, the day the column is supposed to go up and I did spend the entirety of my Sunday crashed out on the couch eating (and, everyone will be unsurprised to hear, drinking) New Year's Eve leftovers and reading a celebrity chef's memoir. JG,FE probably just got mad when he read that and I feel a little sheepish having admitted it. Plus, he has some new responsibilities that I'm sure he has to work around. Frankly, though, the real reason I need to start writing my column earlier is because I'm tired of hearing about how Bryan A. Hollerbach (my comics columnist archrival) turns in his columns every Saturday morning before noon and not at 9:30 Monday night.

 

So there you have it, my sweet nerdlings—my resolution to provide you with a more quality reading experience and JG,FE with a less irritating editing experience. Maybe these are some actual resolutions that I can keep, unlike some famously demolished ones like picking up my shoes and not buying sim apps for my phone.

 

On the other hand, we'll see... | Erin Jameson