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Written by Erin Jameson Monday, 01 August 2011 21:14

Lovefool ventures out on the high seas to check out the manga-style iPhone romance game Pirates in Love.

It's a quietly passed-down family tradition that we, on my father's side, are descended from pirates. Which isn't necessarily true and certainly isn't emphasized, but I've long believed I'm descended from a pirate's brother. My grandfather, rest his soul, charted our family tree all the way back to Sir Francis Drake's brother. Which is cool. I think it counts, right? I mean, sure, there were, like, twelve Drake sons, but one of those is my great great great times-a-million grandfather or something and that means that, supposedly, the same piratical blood that flowed through Sir Francis' veins is flowing through mine. In fact, I might go so far as to say that I believe a bit more of it might flow through mine than previous generations.

I like the idea of old school pirates. I mean, what's not to like? They sail around on boats drinking and getting up to mischief and occasionally, god willing, looking a little Jack Sparrow-like. I would hella get drunk with Jack Sparrow and he'd rob me blind and we might make out a little and then he'd screw me over somehow, but I could be like “Hey, I totally made out with a pirate and he stole my magical bracelet.” Because in this one, I also have a magical bracelet. And then I find my own pirate ship and track him down and get my magical bracelet back and he is totally amazed and then we join forces, briefly, and then part forever because he's a jerk and I'm a pirate and pirates don't need that noise.

I'm sure that being a pirate was a horrible life and that you ended up with scurvy or as shark bait but Voltage, a Japanese mobile content company, has made a pirate dating simulator more in line with my elaborate dreams of being a pirate. Released stateside on the iPhone last month by Digital Manga Publishing, it currently features four pirates that you can hook up with and two that are possibly locked or not available yet. The press release gives the breakdown on the hotties in bite-sized chunks of bio that made me grin.