Jim and Pam on the Autobahn

jimpamTo me, this never gets old. I can just walk around my house singing "And she's buying a stairway to Breeeeetttt." It makes no sense, is a stupid idea, but once you start, I guarantee you won't be able to stop.

 

 

Porsches on the Autobahn | What started as a tongue-in-cheek obsession with this German dance, techno-pop group's DVD and visual hilarity (they don't have a CD) has become an earnest devotion to an increasingly catchy, albeit amateur, set of tunes. Once you get the fact that Porsches on the Autobahn is dedicated to their craft, the more you'll feel like you're on their side, and comfortable to sing "Asphyxiation masturbation, the best kind of masturbation." I've taken this so far as to emulate the band's unique style during Mardi Gras, enlisting two roommates to don a flashlight-helmet and MP3/speaker-helmet to enhance my disco ball-helmet (check out POTA's "New Song Happy Dance" video). I guarantee you'll hear more from this band in the near future (hint, hint), whether you get it or not.

Singing any song and replacing prominent words with the name of my roommate, Brett | To me, this never gets old. I can just walk around my house singing "And she's buying a stairway to Breeeeetttt." It makes no sense, is a stupid idea, but once you start, I guarantee you won't be able to stop. Bonus points if the person whose name you choose gets agitated by the joke's "stupidity," while you really know that they just want you to shut up. I've found it's more entertaining if the name just doesn't fit at all, although logical matches (á la, "Let's Brett It On") are always applauded…by me.

TV

Jim & Pam | I don't feel guilty at all about loving The Office (i.e., best show on television), but I have to admit that I find myself gauging the quality of episodes lately on how well they progress toward my favorite non-couple finally getting together. I know the writers are toying with me, stretching the plot to its very limits, yet I get agitated every time Roy acts like a good guy, or every time Jim acts like he's happy he's with Karen. Please. If Jim and Pam can't get it together, what hope do I have? Seriously, if this season's finale doesn't give me some temporary closure, I might have to pull a Say Anything out in Dunder-Mifflin's parking lot. All I know is that if I get hung out to dry yet again, Scrantonicity better be opening for the Police at Bonnaroo this year.

Scrubs | I know every episode ends in the same sappy way, the acting is over-the-top, and Zach Braff is in it, but Scrubs is so freaking enjoyable to watch. I never think, "Boy, I wish I didn't just watch four straight episodes of Scrubs." Braff is funny and endlessly charming, the rest of the cast is perfect at what they do, and the corniness never fails to warm my heart a little bit. Scrubs wipes the cynicism out of my day, and I feel we could all use a little dose of that here and there.

Movies I own but watch in their edited versions on cable | Why do I do this? Do I really care to verify which scenes are omitted? Which curse words are replaced by ridiculous alternatives? Am I really so lazy as to decide to watch a whole movie, with commercials, while the full, un-edited version lies waiting up a single set of stairs? It's a mystery, but apparently, I do enjoy this, because I keep doing it. | Dave Jasmon

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