Attention, droogies and droog-ettes. Once you've seen read the book or seen the film A Clockwork Orange, you may gag a bit when listening to Beethoven. No matter - you're just digging on the dystopian masterpiece, Pavlov-style, like our man Alex.

So Gene Simmons' Family Jewels is back on the A&E Network. Every time his common-law wife or his smart-aleck kids aim a friendly barb at their narcissist patriarch it makes me smile. Nobody does self-aggrandizing like Gene, and any come-uppance that comes up his way is deserved. You'll laugh at the hammy Hebrew yourself if you visit Webster Films April 6 for Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park, a "movie" insomuch as it's shown on a screen, but more like an experiment see if actors can practice the craft so poorly that your head implodes (making a blast not unlike the sound effect at the end of song "Detroit Rock City"). It's shown with a short on the erudite, witty and impeccably behaved fans of Judas Priest, circa 1986, "Heavy Metal Parking Lot" (314-968-7487, www.webster.edu/filmseries.html).

My Robot's Vacation looks like a pretty cool art show. Hell, it's got paintings of robots. They're by a fellow named Jeffrey Sass. While you're checking it out, you can buy books and such at Subterranean Books, a cultish spot for those who still believe in the printed word. (April 6-May 13, www.subbooks.com). Do the robot.

Venus Envy isn't so much as an art show as it is an over-spilling street carnival with booze, art, live music, wacky performance art, women, and those who must bow before women on this night of yin power. In a new location (as it is each year), this year's VE promises feminist pole dancers, feminist folkies, feminist art and thousands of appreciative revelers (April 13-14, 3001 & 3006 Locust, www.venusenvy.org).

Attention, droogies and droog-ettes. Once you've seen read the book or seen the film A Clockwork Orange, you may gag a bit when listening to Beethoven. No matter - you're just digging on the dystopian masterpiece, Pavlov-style, like our man Alex. See what it's all about when Hot City Theatre presents a stage adaptation of Anthony Burgess' terrifying extrapolation of crime and punishment, A Clockwork Orange, at the ArtLoft Theatre (April 19-May 5, www.hotcitytheatre.org)

Fridays thru April: Non Prophet Theatre Co. presents Militant Propaganda Bingo Machine sketch comedy show at BS Bar and Grill (www.nptco.org)

Thru June 24: Oskar Fischinger: Movement and Spirit, abstract paintings by pioneering German animator, at MOCRA (mocra.slu.edu, 314-977-7170)

April 1: Country music legend Charlie Louvin plays free in-store concert at Vintage Vinyl (www.vintagevinyl.com)

April 1: St. Louis Cardinals Opening Day vs. New York Mets with Kiener Plaza pep rally (www.stlcardinals.com)

April 1: New Music Circle presents electronic musician Tom Hamilton & flautist Jackie Martelle at St. Louis Community College-Forest Park, Bastian Theatre (www.newmusiccircle.org)

April 1: Missouri Tartan Day Festival at Frontier Pk. in St. Charles (www.motartanday.com)

April 1: Orson Welles' F is For Fake at Webster Films (314-968-7487, www.webster.edu/filmseries.html)

April 1: Foolproof Fun(d)raiser for 52nd City litmag with performance by Dock Ellis Band at Mad Art (www.52ndcity.com)

April 1, 15, 22 & 29: Classic 99 From the Garden Live concerts at Mo. Botanical Garden (314-725-0099, www.mobot.org)

April 1-June 30: Art of the Automobile, new exhibition at Kemp Auto Museum in Chesterfield (www.kempautomuseum.org)

April 2: Amnesty Intl. benefit dinner at Delmar Restaurant & Lounge ( This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it , 314-725-6565)

April 4: Wash. U. Assembly Series welcomes former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee for talk and booksigning at Graham Chapel (314-935-4620)

April 4: Strange Brew: Cult Films at Schlafly Bottleworks presents hippie-era animated film Wizards (314-968-7487, www.webster.edu/filmseries.html)

April 5: David Clewell & Dan Chiasson read their poetry at Observable Readings series at Schlafly Bottleworks (observable.org/readings)

April 5: Prog/jam outfit Umphrey's McGee plays free in-store concert at Vintage Vinyl (www.vintagevinyl.com)

April 6: Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park with Heavy Metal Parking Lot at Webster Films (314-968-7487, www.webster.edu/filmseries.html)

April 6: Arbor Day Tree Giveaway at Mo. Botanical Garden (314-577-9400, www.mobot.org)

April 6-7: Washington University Writing Program Publishing Weekend with expo of agents, publishers, authors etc at Duncker Hall (www.wustl.edu)

April 6-8: NCAA Frozen Four hockey championship with skills competitions at Scottrade Ctr. (www.ticketmaster.com); Frozen Fest fun events at St. Louis Union Station April 5-7, also

April 6-May 5: Works by Tom Reed & James Barsness at Philip Slein Gallery (314-621-4634, www.philipsleingallery.com)

April 6-May 13: My Robot's Vacation photography/painting show by Jeffrey Sass at Subterranean Books (www.subbooks.com)

April 7: Wall Ball benefit for South City Open Studio & Art Gallery with live art-creation at Third Degree Glass (www.scosag.org)

April 7: Long Winters' John Roderick performs free in-store concert at Vintage Vinyl (www.vintagevinyl.com)

April 7: Zombie Squad Blood Drive & BBQ at St. Louis Police Lodge with Arch Rival Roller Girls and STL Poker Pub (www.zombiehunters.org)

April 7: Heart of America Bench Press & Dead Lift Championships at Gateway Center in Collinsville (www.wabdl.org)

April 11: Minnijean Brown-Trickey of the Little Rock Nine integration speaks as part of Wash. U. Assembly Series at Graham Chapel (314-935-4620)

April 11-14: Original musical on death of Pres. Lincoln Booth! performed at UMSL's Blanche M. Touhill Performing Arts Center (314-516-4949, www.touhill.org)

April 12: Art & Soul concert featuring bizarre homemade instruments by Tampa artist Brian Ransom, with Jim Ibur & friends, at Christ Church Cathedral (www.jamesibur.com)

April 12: Nicholas Baume of Boston's Institute of Contemporary Art speaks as part of Visiting Curators & Critics Series at Contemporary Art Museum St. Louis (www.contemporarystl.org)

April 13: Metro South Arts Council Trivia Night benefit at Royal Orleans Banquet Center (www.msacstl.org)

April 13: Benin's Gangbe Brass Band at UMSL's Blanche M. Touhill Performing Arts Center (314-516-4949, www.touhill.org)

April 13-14: Venus Envy at 3001 & 3006 Locust (www.venusenvy.org)

April 13-19: Sing-Along Sound of Music at Wehrenberg's Galaxy 14-Chesterfield cinema (www.wehrenberg.com)

April 13-22: Flood Stage Productions presents Arthur Miller's A View from the Bridge where??

April 14: TRUCK exhibition of emerging Kansas City artists at White Flag Projects Gallery (www.whiteflagprojects.org)

April 14: Kathryn M. Buder Center Native American Pow Wow at Washington University Field House (gwbweb.wustl.edu/buder/events.html)

April 14: Community Restoration Day with Ruth Park Woods clean-up in U City (www.thegreencenter.org)

April 14: Trivia Night Fundraiser for Cahokia Mounds State Historic Site (www.cahokiamounds.com)

April 14: Hello Doll-y! celebrates the publication of the newest MHS Press book, Paper Dolls Inspired by the Clothing Collection of the Missouri Historical Society, with doll-making, doll appraisals & booksigning at Mo. History Museum (314-746-4599, www.mohistory.org)

April 14-15: Spirit of St. Louis Marathon including 5K Run; Read, Right & Run Marathon; Mature Mile; and Children's Fun Runs in Forest Park; Marathon; Half Marathon; and Marathon Relay near Soldiers' Memorial (www.stlouismarathon.com, 314-629-2489)

April 15: Clayton Symphony Orchestra performs concert at Clayton High School (www.claytonsymphony.org)

April 15: For the Love of Gumby! & Gumby Dharma with son of Gumby creator Art Clokey at Webster Films (314-968-7487, www.webster.edu/filmseries.html)

April 16: Short-story writer Amy Bloom & poet Jane Wayne read from & sign their works at River Styx at Duff's series (www.riverstyx.org)

April 16: "Lost Boy of Sudan" John Bul Dau from film God Grew Tired of Us speaks at UMSL's J.C. Penney Auditorium (http://www.umsl.edu/services/cis/images/cal_images/as_john_dau_lg.jpg)

April 17: Marimba virtuoso Nebojsa Zivkovic performs at St. Louis Community College-Forest Park, Bastian Theatre (314-644-9769)

April 17: St. Louis Symphony Orchestra Chamber group performs at Tower Grove Park's Piper Palm House (314-771-2679, www.towergrovepark.org)

April 18: Rescuer of many Rwandans in his hotel Paul Russesabagina speaks as part of Wash. U. Assembly Series at Graham Chapel (314-935-4620, http://assemblyseries.wustl.edu)

April 18-19: Toys & Collectibles Auction at Ivey-Selkirk (www.iveyselkirk.com)

April 19: Cine 16 Vintage School Films presents Dr. Seuss' "green" cartoon The Lorax at Mo.History Museum (314-746-4599, www.mohistory.org)

April 19: "The Cinematic Sublime: Cinephilia and Installation Art" lecture by John Hanhardt, Consulting Senior Curator for Film and Media Arts, Smithsonian American Art, at St. Louis Art Museum (314-721-0072, www.slam.org)

April 19-May 5: Hot City Theatre presents stage adaptation of Anthony Burgess' A Clockwork Orange at ArtLoft Theatre (www.hotcitytheatre.org)

April 20: "On the Media: A Selection of Film and Video Art" at St. Louis Art Museum (314-721-0072, www.slam.org)

April 20: School percussion ensemble performs at St. Louis Community College-Forest Park, Bastian Theatre (314-644-9769)

April 20: Former Sen. Bill Bradley signs his new book & speaks at St. Louis County Library Headquarters (www.slcl.org)

April 20-22: "Huck Finn" at COCA Family Theatre Series (www.cocastl.org, 314-725-6555)

April 20-22: Show Me Con science fiction & anime convention at Marriott West (www.showmecon.com)

April 20-28: Magic Smoking Monkey Theatre presents Plan 9 From Outer Space: Live! at the Regional Arts Commission (www.stlrac.org)

April 21-22: Grand South Grand House Tour (www.southgrand.org)

April 22: Earth Day in Forest Park Muny area (www.stlouisearthday.org)

April 24: A Conversation with Ahmad Jamal, free opportunity to hang with jazz legend at Centene Ctr., 4th floor (RSVP at 314-289-4036 or This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it )

April 25-May 20: St. Louis Black Repertory Theatre presents Samm-Art Williams comedy Dance on Widows' Row at Grandel Theatre (314-534-3810, www.theblackrep.org)

April 26: Classical guitarists John Williams & John Etheridge at the Sheldon (www.sheldonconcerthall.org, 314-533-9900)

April 26: Digital Circles outdoor electronic-music concert by James Hegarty & friends at St. Louis Community College-Forest Park, Bastian Theatre arboretum (314-644-9769)

April 26: Food Network chef Paula Deen reads from It Aint' All About the Cookin' at St. Louis County Library Headquarters (www.slcl.org)

April 26-29: New Brothers Quay animated film Piano Tuner of Earthquakes, plus Quay shorts, at Webster Films (314-968-7487, www.webster.edu/filmseries.html)

April 27: a.k.a. Nikki S. Lee film shown, with intro talk by subject (artist assimilates herself into subcultures) at St. Louis Art Museum (314-721-0072, www.slam.org)

April 27-28: CHARIS - The St. Louis Women's Chorus present the premiere of "The Vegans of Provincetown," a culinary parody of Gilbert and Sullivan operetta The Pirates of Penzance at the Missouri History Museum (314-664-9340, www.charischorus.org)

April 27-29: Dance St. Louis presents Aspen Santa Fe Ballet at Edison Theatre (www.dancestlouis.org)

April 27-29: Blueberry Hill Dart Championships (www.blueberryhill.com)

April 28: Marvel Superheroes exhibition at Science Ctr. Exploradome (www.slsc.org)

April 28: Big Bad Voodoo Daddy at UMSL's Blanche M. Touhill Performing Arts Ctr. (www.touhill.org, 314-516-4949)

April 28: National Day of Puppetry event with exotic puppet shows at Mo.History Museum (314-746-4599, www.mohistory.org)

April 28: Japan on Campus Day with sushi, crafts, speeches etc. at UMSL Social Sciences & Business Bldg. (www.umsl.edu/services/cis/images/cal_images/js_japan_on_campus_lg.jpg)

April 28-29: Cherokee Art Show at Cahokia Mounds State Historic Site (www.cahokiamounds.com)

April 28-Oct. 31: Chapungu: Nature, Man, and Myth collection of 23 contemporary African stone carvings of people, animals and creatures of legend by artists from Zimbabwe at Mo. Botanical Garden (www.mobot.org)

April 29: Holocaust Museum & Learning Center free film series presents Czech film Zelary (www.hmlc.org)

April 29: New Music Circle presents EasSide Percussion at St. Louis Community College-Forest Park, Bastian Theatre (314-644-9769, www.newmusiccircle.org)

April 29: A Tasteful Affair 19 to benefit Food Outreach at Chase Park Plaza

April 29: St. Louis Science Center Run for the Stars 5K charity run in Forest Park (www.slsc.org)

April 30: Author Jabari Asim reads from & signs his new book The N Word: Who Can Say It, Who Shouldn't, and Why at St. Louis Public Library-Central Branch (www.slpl.org, 314-241-2288)