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Written by Laura Hamlett Thursday, 04 January 2007 07:49

Through it all, you were experiencing and doing and trying new things. And then comes a day when, quite out of the blue, it hits you: this is who I am.

The cool part about living is that you're free to change your mind. Maybe that Depeche Mode obsession you had in 11th grade has waned. Maybe you've expanded your palate beyond your 4th grade lunches of a ham sandwich and an orange. Maybe you've even rethought that "til death do we part" vow you made at 23.

But through it all, you were experiencing and doing and trying new things. And then comes a day when, quite out of the blue, it hits you: this is who I am.

Maybe it's in part spurred by the fact that your "childless by choice" mantra isn't so much a choice anymore but a biological fact. You're no longer that girl with cats and ferrets, but that woman with no kids and lots of pets.

And yes, your tastes still change now and then (you're gravitating toward the singer-songwriter genre, for instance, and you never used to like avocados), but you also realize many decisions are for keeps. They fit; they make you happy; they define you. Why change?

Maybe you will never move from the house you bought as a wide-eyed and dreaming 25-year-old. Maybe you'll have the same wavy hair (un)style for most of your life. And you know this man is for keeps.

You're settled. Because, you think proudly, after years of self-discovery (and self-doubt), "This is who I am, and this is what I want."

And, you know, it may not look just how you'd imagined it. But, really, you've got it all.