Of trust + expectations

I love working with—and for—musicians. Really, I do. But…


I spent 15 years in the corporate world, working with real estate agents and accountants, business people with entirely different life views and goals and priorities than me. It's refreshing to work with someone for whom creativity and artistry aren't just things you fit in on the side (i.e., never), but a focus of life. It's invigorating to be moved by their creations and help to share them with the world.

But I tend to take people at their word. I tend to trust too easily, to take things too personally. And when people don't act in accordance with what I felt were agreed-upon assumptions, I feel let down. Suddenly, all the hours I've been loggin on their behalf—without pay, most of them, in the belief that they really did have something to offer and I was making a difference in furthering their career—seem like wasted time, time I could have spent on, I don't know, myself, my husband, fixing up my house.

I know; I overreact. And industry friends of mine tell me the biggest mistake you can make is being friends with your clients. It's business, they tell me. You'll only end up feeling hurt and used. But I'm not like that, I insist. I can't work that closely with someone and not care about them as an individual, not respect them as people.

So yes, I'll get my feelings hurt from time to time. But I'll also enjoy better relationships with these musicians. At least that's my theory.

It just happens that a number of musician friends have let me down in a row in a short period of time. I thought the biggest one was two weeks ago—that one caught me, a supposed member of the "team," completely by surprise; today another member of the team said she knew it was coming. (Let's not even go into why I was in the dark on this one.)

But I was wrong; the biggest one came yesterday. I'm still not over that one; it's causing me to rethink a lot of things. I'm processing. Feeling betrayed.

I'm thinking I need more written agreements, too. I need to be more upfront in setting expectations and covering my own ass. It's not the way I like to work. But it seems to be the way the world is telling me to work.

So yeah; I still love the music. And the musicians. But I'm realizing they're not only human, they're perhaps more fallible than the real estate agents and accountants I'd grown so accustomed to. They, at least, live by an unwritten set of corporate rules. Nothing's real with them, but at least you know what you're going to get.

Things that currently make me happy: The new Kasabian album, Empire; my crazy kitten Claude (despite the fact that he has shredded or is attempting to shred every single piece of paper in my office…right, not such a good thing); my amazing husband Jim (five years tomorrow!), kisses from my little weaselgirls, the fact that October realized it's not meant to be 100 degrees.

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