Numbers and colors

Age shouldn't really matter; it's all about what's inside and what's driving you and what you want to accomplish out of life.

 

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about age. Ages of people I hang out with, interact with, talk with, work with. My own age, which is creeping up on 40 despite my trying to be ageless (dang it). What my mother's life was like when she was my age. What's expected of a person my age.

Yes, I know; it's all silly. Trivial. Age shouldn't really matter; it's all about what's inside and what's driving you and what you want to accomplish out of life. But I'm feeling like I'm at an age where I should know what I want to do with my life. I'm also feeling like I do know what I want to do with my life, and I'm doing it—albeit not really being compensated for it, not yet, which is sometimes depressing.

I went to college, undergrad and graduate. I have two degrees. I'm a smart person, trained, quick to learn. I used to have a respectable salary and a decent job. But I wasn't happy.

So now I'm doing things that you don't need degrees for. Sometimes I feel, I don't know…like the education that my parents said was so important isn't? Something like that. Or that I'm not using my talents.

But putting my writing skills and training to use in writing band bios and artist reviews and interviews—that's using my talents, isn't it?

So I guess what it all comes down to is numbers. As in, they're not important. Happiness and fulfillment are the secrets, not your age or the size of your bank account. (Though, don't get me wrong; actually having money in the bank is a good thing. Bouncing checks and living off credit cards is not. I am glad to be done with that, oh my.)

I might even stop dying my hair. And if a strand or two comes in grey, well, it's just a color, right? It says nothing about dreams and desires.

Which, let's face it, are the stuff that's life's made of. The stuff that makes every day worth living. The stuff that makes things happen.

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