Delirious Nomad | 09.06 Highlights

Boat regattas, Sumo wrestlers, Tuts, and Showgirls fill your September.

 

fifi

Last year's St. Louis Admirals Radio-Control Model Boat Regatta wasn't exactly cute. Oh, it started out that way. A little three-foot replica of the HMS Titanic tooled around the lake at St. Louis Union Station. On cue, it struck a plastic "iceberg," snapped in two, and sank into the murky, unforgiving waters of the fabricated shopping-mall attraction. The disaster, recreated in miniature for our pleasure, came off without a hitch. It was just hard to see why they had to fill the little boat with costumed Chihuahua re-enactors. When those sweet, innocent little dogs, sewn into their tiny, precious seersucker suits and cotton dresses, hit the water, I think everyone felt the terror that must have gripped the passengers of the actual Titanic. It's sad, sometimes, how we have to learn the hard way (Sept. 16-17, www.stlouisunionstation.com).

At last year's Missouri Botanical Garden Japanese Festival, two rotund fellers started a rumble in the jungle by slamming into one another with a meaty thud. These retired sumo wrestlers, still pendulous from their playing days, hiked up their mawashis and put on a sumo demo that left the crowd delirious from all-a that flesh-slappin'. The boys who prefer the bento box to the botox are back in town to do it again, along with similarly underdressed taiko drummers, potters, dancers, ikebana experts, calligraphers, and more (Sept. 2-4, www.mobot.org).

Some oversized C-clamps, a pictorial guide to the moustaches of the world, a ceramic dachshund, and a chartreuse Kleenex-box cozy. Yes, each of these items has been spotted at the League of Women Voters Tailgate Sale. The annual crap-o-rama offers a scintillating array of vintage bric-a-brac, discount sunglasses, and cheap wind toys for the garden. Bring a wad of Washingtons to the parking lot behind the University City Market in the Loop and find treasure amid the schlock (8 a.m.-2 p.m., Sept. 4, www.lwvstl.org).

Sure, the St. Louis Art Fair offers a dandy array of art and craft from around the country, and some prime people-watching opportunities. (Those cigar-smoking suburban men with upturned collars are a hoot.) But damn, they got some good food, too. Some of your snazzier Clayton eateries, like House of Seven Gables, India's Rasoi, and Uptown Café, offer scaled-down versions of the specialties of the house at the "Pleasures of the Palate" food court. You can drop five bucks at one booth and four bucks at another, and come away with the best festival-food meal of the summer (Sept. 8-10, www.saintlouisartfair.com).tut

I've heard that the campy appeal of Showgirls has made Elizabeth "Saved by the Bell" Berkley into some kind of gay icon. But really, if this tale of strippers-with-big-dreams has to have a gay icon, can't we just let Gina Gershon do what she does best? Dykes are on Gershon like Baptists on fried chicken. The brunette's buttonhook lips launch a thousand ships when Midnight Madness screens Showgirls at the Tivoli Theatre (midnights Friday and Saturday and 10 p.m. Sunday, Sept. 8-10, www.landmarktheatres.com).

Egyptologist Bob Brier says he knows who murdered King Tut. Apparently it was this dude Anubis Jones, who busted a rock into his dome, took his gold chains, and then drove off in his Mercedes SL600. You see this dog Anubis was a bad mutha-Shut yo' mouth! (But I'm talkin' 'bout Anubis.) Anyhoo, Professor Brier, often interviewed on TLC and Discovery programs about ancient Egypt, has written a book that explores a mystery so old it makes that Cold Case stuff look fresh-baked. He discusses his favorite regicide at a Sept. 15 Archeological Institute of America lecture at the St. Louis Art Museum (www.slam.org).

 

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply