The New York at Night Challenge, or What Did I say Week Two?

cutting_0730_sm.jpgProject Runway’s July 30 challenge featured couture inspired by a night on the town…and by "town," I mean New York; and by "New York," the producers mean Manhattan, because the boroughs give the world of high fashion the skeeves.

 

 

I would listen to Tim Gunn.

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Project Runway‘s July 30 challenge featured couture inspired by a night on the town…and by "town," I mean New York; and by "New York," the producers mean Manhattan, because the boroughs give the world of high fashion the skeeves.

cutting_0730_kenley.jpgIN: KENLEY COLLINS. The creative output of this challenge as a whole was disappointing. There were standouts, but these standouts were B-Grades in a sea of Cs. Honestly, I do not understand what the jury saw in Kenley’s dress that outshined the nightscape creation that first runner-up Terri Stevens stitched. Yeah, it definitely was an inventive interpretation of what she saw on her walkabout (which could very well be throw-up against a curb in the Village, whatever), but to me it looks like an ’80s prom dress made out of damaged factory-outlet upholstery.

OUT: EMILY BRANDLE. Two men have already been eliminated, which made it bad news for Emily Brandle. It was not a good dress; but it was not a bad dress. I thought Mormon hunky-chunky Keith Bryce s torn-newspaper-inspired ensemble was reason enough to boot him off but, like I said, the guys have already sacrificed their share; it was time for a gal to be sacked. Plus! Emily made the fauxest of pas’es when…? Anyone, anyone? When Emily did not listen to Tim Gunn. There is a reason why Tim Gunn oversaw fashion design at Parsons and it wasn’t because he s gay and he speaks English like his blood runs blue; he oversaw fashion design at Parsons because the man knows what he s talking about…well, that AND he’s gay and he speaks English like his blood runs blue.

HOT TRANNY MESS: STELLA ZOTIS. Everybody—Heidi, Mike Kors, Nina, the producers, the TV audience, the queens on Folsom Street, and most especially Stella Zotis herself—can now take their long, slow drag of well-needed sticks of American Spirit. Our favorite bargain-basement Cher survived hair-pulling weeks of cheap trash bags and textile-challenged models and was finally able to create something out of leathah! It was good for me…

SWATCHES. Christian Siriano monkey-do SUEDE referred to himself in first-person, which indicates that sometimes his ego does take coffee breaks… On one hand, HEIDI KLUM is wagging her finger at the poor taste the designers are capable of on free cable. The other hand? The other hand is barely succeeding in keeping the hem of her skirts from riding up to Playboy Channel territory… MICHAEL KORS: Case example of treading water until you’re even more tired and then finally just bobbing…bobbing…bobbing like an apple in a shark party game… A "no-comment" from NINA GARCIA is like an N from Wilhemina Slater (yeah, I know…Catch up!)… Guest judge for this challenge—SANDRA BERNHARD. Come back, Natalie Portman! I’m sorry! I M SORREEEeeee….!!!… Is it holler or holla, TIM GUNN? Is it holler? Or holla? You tell me… Finally, a request to BLAYNE WALSH: Please don’t eat me. Please please please don’t eat me. | Alan Quisimorio

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