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Written by Shandy Casteel Tuesday, 25 April 2006 07:10

“I’d rather be dead than singing ‘Satisfaction’ when I am 45.”

—Mick Jagger, missing his deadline
by 17 years and counting

 

Hate their music or love it, sometimes people in the music business say that the most peculiar things.

 

 

1. “We don’t like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out.”

—Decca Records, showing shrewd business sense in rejecting the Beatles, 1962

2. “I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.”

—Britney Spears showing
our children is indeed learning

3. “We should trust our president in every decision that he makes, and we should just support that and be faithful in what happens.”

—See above

4. “Where the hell is Australia anyway?”

—Hat trick for Britney

5. “Sundance is weird. The movies are weird. You actually have to think about them when you watch them.”

—She is unstoppable;
see the previous three

6. “I’d rather be dead than singing ‘Satisfaction’ when I am 45.”

—Mick Jagger, missing his deadline
by 17 years and counting

7. “Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus.”

—Ozzy Osbourne communicating complex issues with his usual clarity

8. “I think the highest and the lowest points are the important ones. All the points in between are, well, in between.”

—Jim Morrison, poetic hack
and Rimbaud wannabe

9. “We can fly, you know. We just don’t know how to think the right thoughts and levitate ourselves off the ground.”

—Michael Jackson, probably from
his stash of pickup lines

10. “Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it’s tuna. But it says chicken. By the sea. What? Why are you looking like that at me?”

—Jessica Simpson, showcasing the same vocal jockeying ability of another Texas native who has a presidential-sized problem with words and ideas

11. “I looked at all the superstars. What is their different thing? Their hair. I wanted to be a star. I said, ‘I have to fix my hair.’”

—Rob Pilatus of Milli Vanilli,
making us rethink our long-held belief
that at least their hair was real

12. “I don’t know all the certain words to word it.”

—Vanilla Ice, discussing why he
needed a ghostwriter to assist
with writing his autobiography

13. “So where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?”

—Christina Aguilera, making us wish
we could say you are beautiful no
matter what you say. We can’t.