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Written by Kevin Renick Saturday, 26 November 2005 09:41

VARIOUS ARTISTS: A VERY BERT DAX CHRISTMAS VOL. 4 (Self-Released)

Christmas at St. Louis’ Vintage Vinyl record store has come to mean many things in the last few years, but one of the most interesting for fans of unconventional Christmas music is the annual Bert Dax compilation put together by Matt Harnish. The aesthetic behind the series is to give local bands a chance to cut loose on wacked-out covers of traditional Christmas songs or, more commonly, to serve up a “holiday” tune of their own. The results are always mixed, but seldom boring.

A Very Bert Dax Christmas Vol. 4 is a mere 34 minutes long, with 11 tracks that range from spirited to funny to abrasive. The Vultures score with a ferociously energetic “Don’t Believe in Christmas,” which humorously apes “Subterranean Homesick Blues”–era Dylan, complete with harmonica and talk-singing narrative. That’s My Daughter offer “We’re Too Much,” which alternates between male and female vocals and shows a band having a rockin’ good time with this assignment (“Everybody wants to plow my snow,” Sarah exclaims between regular verses). The vibe on “Cold Night in St. Louis” generated by Bug is unquestionably authentic—the tune is true to the spirit of a miserable, dreary winter night in the Lou. For laugh-out loud funny, the minute-and-a-half crudity of “Christ, It’s Cold” is aces all the way (“Merry Christmas to Christians, but not to Commies, Jews, or gays”), and sharply contrasts its cheery arrangement with utter lyrical contempt.

And who wouldn’t enjoy “Hey Santa Claus (You Son of a Bitch)” delivered with humorous venom by Johnny O and the Jerks? The longest and most sincerely “musical” track is Tight Pants Syndrome’s “How Did You Get to Be Mine (This Christmas)?” which features male-female vocals again, a sincerely peppy arrangement, and a nice extended chorus of “la la’s” near the end. And “Hey! The House is Burning Down” offers the catchiest use of repeated cries of “Hey!” I’ve heard in ages, courtesy of Two-Faced Liars (featuring members of Sex Robots and UnMutuals). Made me wanna grab a beer, too, which is almost always a good sign. The Bert Dax discs aren’t supposed to be polished or artsy or anything like that; they’re just good, irreverent fun, and they’re budget priced. The success ratio here is pretty high, so if you like your holiday music raucous and irreverent, head on down to VV and grab a copy. For more info, e-mail This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .